Let me introduce myself, seriously- you have to let me, because you know I'm just going to keep yelling until you walk out of ear shot- my name is Charles, but my friends call me 'Lefty Righty Shifty', but my other friends just call me 'Crazy' and 'Drunk' and 'Stop Leave Me Alone, I Don't Have Any Money'! Did I mention that everyone is my friend? Guess what? You're my friend. Lucky you but luckier me!
Anyway, you may be wondering, how did this charming man end up on the streets? Well, I'll tell ya! I don't remember. All I know is one day I'm living the dream and the next day I'm waking up in a puddle of piss and my own (I assume) blood left with nothing but the clothes on my back, a syringe, and a brand new laptop completely installed with wifi!
I thought to myself, "Charles, you can overcome this! Get up, wash yourself off in the lake and get to the job finding!" Then I got tired so I found this amazing alley and, let me tell you, Location! Location! Location! It's right behind a movie theater next to a dumpster. Movie theater dumpsters have the swankiest of foods- hotdog buns and empty popcorn bags (salt and butter remnants? Delicious!).
Life was great, but I eventually started to feel like it lacked purpose. So that brings me to now! I decided that since I live behind a movie theater, I should start rating the movies they play. I can't afford to see the movies, but I can read the titles which makes me qualified for this job!
You're welcome!
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